BBC TO INTRODUCE TUMBLE WEED CLIP AFTER MARK LAWRENSON'S BAD JOKES

Lawrenson, just not funny

The BBC are set to cover up the uncomfortable silences after a Mark Lawrenson joke by introducing a 5 second clip of Tumble Weed blowing in the wind.

This new idea from the BBC will launch in the new season on Match Of The Day and has come off the back of complaints from viewers and working colleagues of Lawrenson. They claim to feel embarrassed for the ex Liverpool defender and have asked for something to be introduced for the awkward pause after these truly appalling jokes.  

A spokesman for BBC Sport said they would rather do this than have to tell Lawrenson to stop trying to be funny. "It's difficult to speak to Lawro about this, as he genuinely thinks he's being funny, but he must think people are laughing at home, because his colleagues certainly aren't".

Guy Mowbray who has been commentating alongside Lawrenson for sometime, thinks the introduction of tumbleweed is a good idea as he is finding it increasingly difficult to fake laugh. "I just can't lie to him any more", said a frustrated Mowbray. "Just the other day we were commentating on a game and I referred to a player having something up his sleeve and Lawro replied by saying "yeah probably his shirt", I couldn't even fake laugh that one, so it just felt silent, I felt really embarrassed for him as it was just awful. I mean he's a great pundit, but he should leave the jokes to the comedians".

This is the first of many new changes coming to Match Of The Day in August, others could possibly include Alan Shearer and Danny Murphy sporting a wig, Gary Lineker having his ears pinned back and Martin Keown's face being censored.

EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP HEROES- WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

With Euro 2016 just around the corner a new hero is waiting to be born. Not literally as it wouldn't be possible for a new born baby to play football with grown men, firstly it's too dangerous and secondly he'd be crap. Here is a look at some heroes from years gone by and what has become of them.

Michel Platini

Frenchman Platini was the hero of the 1984 European Championships as he captained his side to glory, scoring an incredible 9 times. Platini enjoyed playing the beautiful game, but his real love and passion was for self contained underwater breathing apparatus, Scuba for short. When his Football career was over Platini began to take up Scuba diving full-time and became very good at that as well, acquiring medals for biggest dive and most fish collected. As Platini got older his diving became less frequent, but he is still very much involved in Scuba and is President of 'Simulation' the Scuba diving club in La Londe, South of France.


Marco Van Basten

The Dutch maestro was once hailed the best in the world, at playing football. In Euro 1988 he helped his Holland side to the Championship title with 5 goals, one of those a sublime volley from a ridiculous angle in the final against the Soviet Union. This goal became famous,with youngsters trying to replicate the finish down local parks all across the world. After his career was over Van Basten cashed in on his wonder strike. He released a DVD entitled 'That Goal' which included it being shown from every camera angle, plus interviews with Van Basten, and other famous players about the goal. T-shirts, mugs, pencil cases, even a board game was made in honour of the goal. Nowadays Van Basten runs a Soccer school, teaching kids how to score a sublime volley from a ridiculous angle against the Soviet Union. Unfortunately, this hasn't been a success due to the Soviet Union no longer existing.


John Jensen

The Danish midfielder was an unlikely hero in Euro 1992. His smashing shot from the edge of the box put Denmark on their way to a famous victory in the final against Germany. Following that goal, all the big names wanted to sign Jensen and it was Arsenal who eventually captured his signature. The Gunners fans were looking forward to some great goals from the Dane, but they were to be disappointed as he managed just 1 goal in 4 years at the club. It was later discovered that the reason for the Dane mis-firing on the pitch was because he was scoring so much off it. Jensen was a real hit with the ladies and his moustache had become something of a love brush. So it was no surprise that when Jensen retired from Football, he entered the world of porn. For many years Jensen was banging them in left, right and centre, but now he's got a bit older and his back's playing up, he prefers to take the directors seat. With his love of football and porn he's decided to combine the two in his films. These include, 'Massive Tackle', 'Sextra Time' and 'Two Footed Clunge'.


Oliver Bierhoff

Germany were trailing 1-0 to the Czech's in the final of Euro 96' and needed some inspiration. Off the bench came Udinese striker Oliver Bierhoff and he changed the game with two goals to give the Germans the trophy. When he returned to Italy the following season it soon became apparent that Bierhoff was only good as a substitute and he was used this way for the rest of his career, scoring some very important goals along the way. Since Bierhoff retired he has struggled to get out of the substitute role and will turn up late to almost everything. This includes going to the cinema for the last 20 minutes of the film, having sex with his wife and turning up with an hour left of his shift at International Shipping Partners in Berlin, where he works as a Senior Logistics Manager.


Angelos Charisteas

Greek Charisteas, was the hero of his country in 2004. His goal against hosts Portugal in the final was to give Greece the unlikeliest of victories. Charisteas, who was playing for German side Werder Bremen at the time, was put on a pedestal when he returned to his native Greece to parade the trophy. He then celebrated with players and fans. While others eventually went back to their normal lives, Charisteas did not and has continued to celebrate for 8 years. Despite numerous calls from his club to report for pre-season training each year, Charisteas remains at large and there are doubts he will ever return.